Your worst Nightmare.

Tonight was a typical Friday night in Rexburg Idaho. The restaurants were crowded. The movies were sold out and everyone was having a wonderful time. So why was I not? Well driving through Rexburg brings nothing but what are now sweet memories of the previous Fall of '10. Walking through the isle in Walmart rushed all those tender feelings and over all memories of his sweet aroma through my body. I remember the way he would look at me as I would come around the corner into our kitchen. The way he held me that night under the stars. The tickling of his nose as he pressed it against by hair. I don't think I have ever been so happy in a relationship the way I was last October. I remember well how Excited he got when we watched my first pro football game together. I would give anything to go back to the way things should have been. Driving into Idaho Falls my mind echoed with his laughter, as we sung our favorite Christmas songs. Driving through the red colored trees as we entered the little town that will forever remember our first date. I can still recall the look on his blue eyes when I told him I would love to go to the haunted house. The way our eyes met as we carved pumpkins together that Sunday afternoon. What happened? Where did those feelings go? I'ts not the same, being here "without him." All I have left of him are those haunting memories of the most wonderful time of my life that replay in my mind over and over and over. But I must say this. I am where I am because of him. He showed me that I was worth more than I ever thought I could be. He proved to me that there are Prince charming out there and that I can have my "fairy tale" romance so thank you. FOR EVERYHTING YOU GAVE ME.

New Beginnings

Do you remember the day you realized you were changing in a good way? Maturing? Well last night I was laying in bed and it hit me that the diana that was here last fall is no longer. I realized that there is more to life than just being silly and saying silly things all the time. I'm tired of living the same life. I feel like I'm being held back and I'm ready to break from my shell. I'm like the butterfly ready to come out of the cocoon. I went to church today and this cute guy sat next to me and we got to talking and he was nice and everything... after the meetings we stuck around and mingled and all the boys were coming in and they were good looking but I realized that I just didn't care anymore about wainting to put myself out there. In the last year I've gotten hurt on a few occassions and I know thats part of learning and why we are here but it's no longer up to me. I will now leave it in the hands of my Heavenly Father and when the time is right then its right. In the mean time I've got BIG goals for myself and I'm really excited because this will me a wonderful semester for me. With someone or by myself I will come out of it a better person.